I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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