Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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