left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
