I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
ok first of all what the fuck
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
