I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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