i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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