like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
