If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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