you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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