seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wish life had little blips of pornography
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
