Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
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