New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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