Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
