the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
