anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
