wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
