why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
