You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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