Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Girls should come with a carfax report
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
