You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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