Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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