i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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