we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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