There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
