Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
