I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
