I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
