I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
