I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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