Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
