Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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