careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
