i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
