More tranny stories later!
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
