I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I want to make a zoo with you.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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