just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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