it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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