God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
