i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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