no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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