just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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