Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
