So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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