she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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