i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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