I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
