4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
