Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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