I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
