i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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